


Blind Date

by notallballs (notallbees)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, Blind Date, First Dates, Flirting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6267544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>The restaurant was quiet. Two businessmen sat in one corner, a group of young women were talking excitedly at another, and there were three couples in varying states of relationship harmony. Bokuto's heart sank. That made it the third blind date in a row he'd fucked up; his sister would kill him when she found out.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Bokuto's sister is a serial matchmaker, but none of the blind dates she sets him up with seem to work out. The real mystery is how she found Kuroo Tetsurou, who is hot, funny, and laughs like a hyena at Bokuto's jokes. It seems too good to be true.</p><p>These things usually are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keptein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keptein/gifts).



> For kep, who has unknowingly helped me traverse the long dark desert of trying-to-write-bokuroo-and-failing :D

Bokuto was running late. He was late a lot, but he liked to tell himself it was an endearing quality. And twenty minutes really wasn't so bad when you took into account the scale of human history. Twenty minutes was nothing compared to the span of the Roman empire, or the formation of the galaxy. 

He glanced up; he'd missed the stop. Bokuto swore half-heartedly and pulled out his phone to text his date. This was the trouble with listening to podcasts when he commuted: he got sucked in and forgot where he was. 

At the next stop, Bokuto jumped out and jogged back in the direction of the restaurant. He was just over thirty minutes late when he walked in the door. His date hadn't replied to his text. Shit.

The restaurant was quiet. Two businessmen sat in one corner, a group of young women were talking excitedly at another, and there were three couples in varying states of relationship harmony. Bokuto's heart sank. That made it the third blind date in a row he'd fucked up; his sister would kill him when she found out. He checked his phone again just in case she'd already heard, but his inbox currently remained free of abuse. 

A host came up to greet him and Bokuto opened his mouth to apologise, but before he spoke he saw a tall, dark-haired man come out of the bathroom at the back of the restaurant and sit down at a two-person table. The man pulled out a book and started to read, and Bokuto felt light with relief. He couldn’t see what book it was from here, but that was how they’d agreed to recognise one another.

“It's okay!” he said quickly, a grin taking over his face. “I'm meeting someone, he’s over there, I'll just—” 

He scooted away before she could say anything and walked up to the table. His date—Bokuto realised with a guilty twinge that he'd already forgotten the guy's name—had a sardonic expression that complemented his angular face. He looked like an asshole, but some of the best sex of Bokuto's life had been with assholes—no pun intended—so he tried not to judge in advance. 

“Hey!” he said, throwing himself into the seat opposite. “I'm really sorry I'm late, I got off at the wrong stop.” Asshole Face had ridiculously long legs; their knees bumped under the table and Bokuto grinned. “Thanks for waiting, dude,” he said, reaching out to shake his hand. “I'm Bokuto Koutarou, it’s really great to meet you.”

Asshole Face raised his head slowly while Bokuto spoke, the corner of his mouth tilting up into a smirk. After a moment's deliberation, he closed his book and shook Bokuto's hand. “Kuroo Tetsurou,” he said, holding on a little longer than he needed to. Bokuto grinned. “Nice to meet you, Bokuto-san.”

“Just Bokuto, seriously,” he said, running his fingers through his hair while he tried to compose himself. Kuroo had a half finished coffee on the table in front of him. “Ah, you didn't eat already, did you? If not, I'm totally buying, it's the least I can do—”

Kuroo laughed under his breath. “You really don't need to do that,” he said, putting his book to one side. “I don't actually—”

“Please?” Bokuto said, attempting to look cute and convincing. “I totally messed up the last two dates my sister set me up with and if I don't do this one right I think she's gonna disown me.” He paused and Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “Oh shit,” Bokuto said quickly. “I mean you seem like a—a great guy too? Really, uh—hey, do you work out? You look like you work out. I bet you run or something, huh? You look really—” _You’re babbling_ , he told himself sternly. _Shut up_. Bokuto winced and finished lamely, “Um. Really fit?”

Kuroo's eyes widened momentarily, and then he burst out laughing. It was incredible to watch the snarky asshole exterior melt away and leave behind a core of smile lines and overlong canines—and a surprisingly dorky laugh. Bokuto realised with a jolt that he found this guy _really_ attractive. 

“That...wow, this is the weirdest date,” Kuroo said, still suppressing giggles. He settled back in his chair and stretched out; one of his ankles brushed Bokuto's leg and came to settle alongside it, just a couple of centimetres apart. “Buy me a drink to start, okay? I promise I’m not gonna tell your sister.”

Bokuto sagged in his seat. “ _Thank you_.”

“Yeah, don’t thank me,” Kuroo muttered. He stuck up his hand to wave and a host came over for their order. “Is beer okay?” he asked, his eyes lingering over Bokuto's face. He nodded, and Kuroo ordered. Bokuto didn't hear what it was; he couldn't stop staring at Kuroo. 

After the host walked away, Kuroo turned back to him with his asshole smirk back in place. “I've gotta ask, dude,” he said, resting his hands on the table. His wrists stuck out from the too-short sleeves of his sweater, slender and bony. “Why's your sister setting you up on so many dates? You seem relatively normal, and you're pretty hot.”

Bokuto looked up sharply, aware suddenly that he'd been caught staring. He hoped Kuroo couldn't tell what Bokuto had been thinking about his hands. “ _Pretty_ hot?” he repeated in mock outrage. “Break my heart, why don't you.”

To his delight, Kuroo began to laugh again. He laid one hand over his heart and bowed his head slightly. “My apologies,” he said, and winked. 

“You're forgiven.” Bokuto set his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. “But you still have to tell me how beautiful I am.”

Kuroo grinned. “Does it even count if you tell me to do it? How will you know if I'm telling the truth?”

Bokuto crooked a finger. “I can tell,” he said, gesturing between them. He tucked his hands back under his chin. “C'mon, try me. I can tell when people are lying.”

“Like a human polygraph,” Kuroo said dubiously.

“Exactly!”

Kuroo shrugged and brushed his hair aside with a casual gesture; it fell right back in his face but he didn't seem to mind. “Okay, then I take back what I said about you being pretty hot.”

Bokuto tilted his head and watched Kuroo with an expectant smile. 

“Honestly, you're the best looking guy I've ever been on a date with.”

“Bro,” Bokuto said, his smile softening. “For real?”

Kuroo grinned at him. “Is it? You tell me.”

“Aww, come on,” Bokuto said, laughing. He was secretly thrilled by Kuroo teasing him, and his stomach flip flopped as he leaned forward again to look him in the eye. Kuroo stared back at him steadily. “I think it's a trick question,” Bokuto said after a moment. “I'm the only guy you've ever been on a date with.”

Kuroo laughed again, rocking back on his chair with the force of it, his wrists balanced on the edge of the table. Bokuto couldn't help joining in; Kuroo's ridiculous laugh was infectious and made him want to grin and run around and flip tables. The host came back with their beers, obviously uncomfortable with their raucous laughter. Bokuto thanked her and tried to restrain himself to grinning maniacally while Kuroo got his sniggering under control. 

“So,” Bokuto said, picking up his beer to distract him from the attractive flush the laughter had brought to Kuroo's cheeks. “That's a yes?”

Kuroo picked up his own beer and clinked their bottles together. “I can't decide if I'm offended or not,” he said after a mouthful of beer. “Do I seem that clueless?”

Bokuto shook his head, but his attention caught on Kuroo's cheek. “Ah, sorry,” he said, realising he'd reached out instinctively. “You have an eyelash.” He gestured with his fingertip. “Can I?”

Kuroo's eyes widened and Bokuto gently brushed the eyelash from his cheek. 

“Man,” Bokuto said, resting his chin on his hand. “You have the weirdest eyes, dude. They're like—I can't even tell what colour they are, it's like I'm gazing into the void of space.”

“Oh wow,” Kuroo said, starting to grin. “You say that to all the boys?”

Bokuto glanced down at the table. “That was dumb, sorry,” he muttered. The tips of his ears felt hot and he leaned back slightly, hoping that Kuroo would forget he'd said anything. “So, uh—”

“No no,” Kuroo interrupted quickly. “I'm actually—kinda flattered?” He laughed. “I mean, I'm assuming it's a compliment.”

“It's totally a compliment!” Bokuto's voice came out way too loud but Kuroo didn't seem to notice, and Bokuto sighed in relief. “You know, I'm kind of surprised,” he said after staring into Kuroo's void eyes for a few moments. “The guys that Haru-chan sets me up with, we usually don't get on at all. But I feel like I can really talk to you, Kuroo, you're totally different.”

Kuroo looked a little sheepish. “Ah, yeah, there might be a reason for that.” 

Bokuto sat up straight. “Hey! You never told me the answer!”

Kuroo blinked. “Huh?”

“If I'm your first date with a guy!” 

“Oh,” Kuroo said, laughing softly. It was different to his normal laugh, and Bokuto had a brief, startling image of hearing that laugh in bed. 

_Down, boy_ , he told himself sternly, trying to pay attention to what Kuroo was saying with his lovely, soft-looking mouth. _Fuck_.

“I've been involved with guys,” Kuroo said quietly, clearly aware of the other patrons even if none were quite in eavesdropping distance. “But I guess this is my first real date with one.” 

Bokuto started to grin, but then he realized what Kuroo had said and he feigned offence. “Wait, so I'm the hottest out of a sample of one? Cold, dude.”

Kuroo shrugged and tilted the mouth of the beer bottle to his lips. “Give me something else to judge it on,” he said carelessly. “Anyone can be hot. I like people with a sense of humour.”

“I am very funny,” Bokuto said in a deadpan voice.

“I believe that,” Kuroo said, mimicking his tone. He took a sip of his beer then used the bottle to gesture at Bokuto accusingly. “So, you never answered my question either.”

Bokuto tensed. “Uh—oh?”

“Yeah, how come you need your sister to find you a boyfriend?”

“Oh, that,” he said, blushing for real this time. “It's not like that. She got married and now she's bored. She's taken up matchmaking as a hobby.”

Kuroo grinned. “Doesn't seem like she's very good at it.”

Bokuto barked with laughter. “God, she's _awful_ at it.” He sighed fondly. “Well, she's got other strengths. How do you know Haru-chan?”

Kuroo frowned. “Actually I—”

“Oh, shit, hold on,” Bokuto said when his phone started to buzz against his thigh. He checked; it was Haruhi. “I'm so sorry, dude.” He waved the phone. “It's Haru-chan. I'll be like thirty seconds, I promise.”

Kuroo just waved him off with a smile and Bokuto hurried outside to take the call. 

“Haru-chan, I'm never gonna get laid if you call in the middle of—”

“I can't believe you!” she yelled, making him wince. “How could you do this? I look like a total idiot to Amagi-san!”

Bokuto blinked. “Uh. I'm sorry? Who's Amagi?”

“Your date, fucknut!”’

“Kuroo is my date,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. Kuroo didn't look up; he was texting furiously, his brow furrowed as he focused intently on his phone. “He's great, Haru, where'd you find him?” Bokuto found himself smiling like a sap. “He’s totally my type, I’m impressed.”

“Kou, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Kuroo-san!”

“Who the fuck is Kuroo? Amagi just called me to say you stood him up!”

Bokuto stood with his mouth hanging open for a moment. He glanced back at Kuroo again. Their eyes caught and Kuroo startled briefly before responding with a helpless smile and a shrug. 

“Oh fuck,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo mouthed the words _I’m sorry_ , folding one slender wrist over the other on the table again.

Oh _fuck_.

Haruhi was still ranting in his ear, but Bokuto didn't really hear the words. Amagi-san, angry-san, blah blah. He wanted to know what the fuck Kuroo’s deal was. Bokuto was dimly aware that he should feel angry, but of the two of them, Haruhi had inherited far more capacity for rage; Bokuto was mostly curious.

“Sorry, Haru-chan,” he said quickly, cutting across her rant. “I’ve gotta go.”

He shoved the phone back in his pocket and went into the restaurant. The host gave him a nervous look, but Bokuto ignored her and strode over to the table. He slid out his chair and sat down, his eyes on Kuroo’s the whole time.

Kuroo looked back at him with a calm, curious expression. He had one eyebrow cocked as if he didn’t give a fuck, but Bokuto’s bullshit sensor hadn’t failed him yet.

Bokuto propped his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers, pressing his lips against the tip of his index finger. Kuroo leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. He spread his thighs, but again, Bokuto was aware of Kuroo’s ankle touching his. 

“You,” Bokuto said at length, with as much gravitas as he could muster, “are not my blind date.”

Kuroo nodded once. “Correct.”

Bokuto frowned. After a moment he slammed his palms down on the table, making their beer bottles dance, and leaned in to glare at Kuroo. “You didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t ask.”

“Eh?” Bokuto snarled, jerking back in surprise. 

“Seems like you just walked in and...saw something you liked,” Kuroo said slowly. He paused, and his mouth slipped into that asshole smirk that made Bokuto’s gut whimper. “And in my defense, I did try to tell you—”

“Ah!” Bokuto yelled, sitting up. “You did!” 

Kuroo shrugged. 

“You didn’t have to let me go on about all that stuff,” Bokuto muttered, resentfulness finally catching up to him. He folded his arms, mimicking Kuroo’s posture while he glanced off to one side. “Now my sister’s mad _and_ I made an ass of myself, acting like it was a real date.”

Under the table, Kuroo’s leg pressed more firmly against his own, and his voice when he spoke was warm and rich like hot sake. “Who says it isn’t a real date?”

Bokuto’s heart kicked and his eyes widened. He forced himself to look at Kuroo. “Seriously?”

Kuroo shrugged. “I didn’t lie about anything, dude,” he said, overly casual. “You’re still the hottest guy I’ve dated.” He met Bokuto’s anxious gaze and grinned, dirty and feral. “ _And_ you made me laugh. That’s two for two.”

“So you wanna just...carry on?”

“Why not?” Kuroo said, still affecting more casualness than Bokuto really thought he felt. “What could it hurt to go somewhere and talk a little longer?”

“Dude,” Bokuto said, breaking into a grin. “Seriously, you hacked my date and now you want me to just roll into bed with you?”

“That’s funny,” Kuroo said, leaning forward. “Because I _definitely_ didn’t say anything about sleeping together—” He was practically _purring_. “But buy me another beer and maybe I’ll change my mind.”

 

 

Bokuto was woken by his phone buzzing, and winced when he realised the source of the hellish sound. He really needed to get a phone that didn’t have such an angry-sounding vibrate setting. It always made him feel like he was about to get yelled at by whoever was trying to contact him; in this case, he probably was.

“Is that your fucking sister,” Kuroo moaned, rolling over him. “Fuck.” He leaned over the edge of the bed and fished Bokuto’s phone out of his jeans. The furious buzzing stopped.

“Mm, thanks,” Bokuto hummed, nuzzling contentedly into Kuroo’s armpit.

Kuroo huffed. “Gross, dude.”

Bokuto wriggled under Kuroo’s weight, pressing his whole face against Kuroo’s armpit and breathing in the stink of two rounds in the sack and whatever Kuroo did for a day job. “Mmmm,” he sighed happily, wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s waist. “Can I blow you?”

“Dude, I _just_ woke up.”

“So lie back down, I’ll go slow.”

Kuroo groaned. “Nope. I gotta pee.” 

He scrambled up from the mess of blankets, accidentally kicking Bokuto in the head as he struggled free. “Fuck,” Kuroo muttered, muffling a giggle. “Sorry, bro, you alright?”

Bokuto rolled over and wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s pillow. “Mmm.”

He was drifting when Kuroo got back in the bed, covering him with his body and tucking his face against the back of his neck. Bokuto snuggled back into him with a pleased noise.

“Oh my god,” Kuroo murmured, laughing softly. He reached up to run his fingers through Bokuto’s hair. “You’re like a puppy or something.”

“Am not,” Bokuto muttered, slowly grinding his erection into the bed and his ass into Kuroo’s crotch. Kuroo bit his shoulder gently and Bokuto let out a soft moan. “Please,” he said in a pathetic pleading voice. “I don’t even care if you fall asleep, lemme suck you off—”

Kuroo swore and bit him again on the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he gasped, “okay.”

Bokuto sat up and Kuroo rolled onto his back, his eyes dark and wide when Bokuto moved over him. “You don’t look all that sleepy to me,” Bokuto murmured, moving down to kiss his stomach.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna miss _this_ ,” Kuroo said, smirking.

Bokuto reached over to grab a condom from the drawer by Kuroo’s bed and rolled it on him quickly. 

“By the way,” he said as he settled at Kuroo’s side and bent over to nuzzle at his hip. “I don’t put out on the first date.”

Kuroo laughed loudly, and Bokuto watched his belly shake with a spreading sense of pride. “Right,” Kuroo said, grinning at him “I’ll remember that.”

Bokuto grabbed Kuroo’s dick and stroked it a few times, watching him gasp. “Make sure you do.”

“Ahhh—” Kuroo moaned loudly when Bokuto finally moved his mouth over the end of Kuroo’s dick. “I—mm I feel kinda bad for the guy you bailed on,” he said, reaching to cup Bokuto’s head with one hand. 

Bokuto pulled off and raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah? You want me to call him up and beg for another shot?”

Kuroo laughed. “I don’t feel _that_ bad.”

“Good,” Bokuto said, leaning down to tease him with his tongue. “Now shut up and let me work.”

“You shut up.”

Bokuto grinned. “I’m trying,” he said, before taking Kuroo in his mouth again.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](notallballs.tumblr.com) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/notallbees)
> 
>  
> 
> I make art, fic, and I ship a whole bunch of stuff. Come say hi!


End file.
